so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
