I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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