We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize