kristin has been a bad kristin
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
