I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
