dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
