Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
