I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize