Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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