On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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