Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
