and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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