Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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