:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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