Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
