there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
