Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
