How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize