Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
