hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
