The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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