he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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