i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize