in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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