he wants to bone in the snuggie
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
