Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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