i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kissed a someone with a penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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