We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize