we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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