come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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