I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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