At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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