its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
