Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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