i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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