Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
