Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
