its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
