Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
pop tarts are not kleenex
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
