I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
