it wasn't lemon gatorade
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
