she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
