She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
