they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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