They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
