Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
