Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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