I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
