Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
