It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
