with your own penis?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
