Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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