The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
