so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
