i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
