OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
