I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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