Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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