sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
