the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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