We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found the puke drawer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just high enough for therapy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
