What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
