So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it hurts more in the daytime
high people should be assigned attendants
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
